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Best of Usenet Don't spend hours searching through thousands of Usenet discussion groups looking for the funny stuff. Someone has already done the dirty work for you. If you are in the market for humor, you can find lots of laughs with one-stop shopping by checking out the group that claims to have the best of what Usenet has to offer. The alt.humor.best-of-usenet group has the funny stuff and alt.humor.best-of-usenet.d is where you can talk about the funny stuff. Usenet:
Blackout's Box Every time I visit Blackout's Box I end up laughing and laughing out loud. This Web site features crank phone calls made by a wonderful, talented actor. These recordings are, by far, the funniest such calls I have ever heard. If you need a good laugh right now, you know what to do. Web: Comedy Talk and General Discussion I love jokes, so I am encouraging everyone to choose comedy as a career. Sure, the world will have to make do with fewer new inventions, scientific discoveries and medical miracles, but we will all be laughing too hard to notice. Comedy is an addiction and when people are not listening to it or watching it, they are talking about it on Usenet. Usenet:
Computer Humor By their nature, computers are dull, technical and boring (unless you are a nerd, in which case computers are fascinating, and you are dull, technical and boring). In either case, here is the antidote. Web:
Cruel Site of the Day Humor isn't always pretty -- but someone has to do it. The Cruel Site of the Day is one of the places you must know about. Every day (well, not every day, but most days... well, some days anyway) there is a new link to a bizarre site on the Net. The site might be serious, it might be a parody, or it might be so strange as to defy classification. What is always true, however, is that you are sure to find someone to laugh at. When you have some extra time, check out the Cruel Site archives ("Our Cruel Heritage") for some guaranteed bad-taste-meets-the-Net humor-in-a-box. Web: Funny People Usenet has a whole set of discussion groups devoted to the worship and discussion of various famous people and their work. Humor, of course, is well represented. Join the disciples and discuss your favorite humorists. Usenet:
Henry Cate III Joke Collection Long before there was a Web, in the days when everyone read the Usenet discussion groups and resources were shared by FTP (find an old person to explain it to you), there was an Internet folk hero named Henry Cate III. Henry Cate III worked for Xerox and, in his spare time, indulged in a wonderful hobby. He collected jokes, organized them into series, and posted them to rec.humor, the principal Usenet humor group. Although I never met Henry Cate III in person, I did talk to him over the phone and by email. In fact, at one time, we were thinking of creating a book containing jokes from around the world. All too often in this world, people like Henry Cate III are forgotten. But not in this book. Web:
Humor Archives Where do you go when you need a good laugh, and you can't find your old high school yearbook? To the Net, of course. Here are some Internet resources that will lead you to enough jokes, humor and overall silliness to supply the entire Peruvian army. Web:
Humor Databases You have finally managed to get the girl in your economics class to come over for dinner. It is crucial that you impress her, and what better way than to amuse her with some jokes? The Net approves of your relationship and is willing to help. Check with these Web sites, and you are bound to find all the jokes you need, as well as a few extra (just in case). It won't be long before your date is laughing so hard, you can take the bigger hamburger for yourself and she won't even notice. Web:
Humor for Women Being a woman requires you to (1) deal with men, (2) deal with the world, and (3) deal with yourself. Under the circumstances, a triple portion of good humor can go a long way. Web:
Humor Magazines It's easy to be well-read when what you are reading is funny. These online humor magazines will put a snap in your eye and a sparkle in your walk. And the best part is, you don't have to pay good money to buy a print magazine. There are just as many laughs available for free, right now, on the Net. Laugh for free in the privacy of your own home -- that's my motto. Web:
Humor Mailing Lists Why go out into the cold cruel world in order to hunt down humor, when you can have it come directly to your electronic mailbox? Subscribe to these mailing lists, and you will be able to distract your co-workers by laughing as you read your mail. Then you can forward the best jokes to all your friends, so they will see what a terrific sense of humor you have and appreciate how lucky they are to know you. Web:
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Humorists to Discover There are lots and lots of humor columnists on the Net. I know this because I have looked at tens and tens of Web sites to find the ones that are really worth your time: the humor writers I want you to discover. In order to qualify for such an honor, these humorists must not be available in large-well-known-newspapers-that-feature-columnists-who-write-one-sentence-paragraphs. Moreover, they must meet my strict criteria. First, they have to make me laugh out loud. Next, they must have a significant body of written work. Finally, they must have a lot of natural talent and writing ability. As you can see, the list of writers who made the cut is a short one, but then, I am researching on your behalf and my standards are high. (In case you want to do your own research, I have also included a Web site that has links to a great many Internet-based humorists.) Web:
Interactive Top Ten Lists If you are tired of passively hearing about other people's Top Ten lists, then rejoice: you can participate in making your own. Fill in a form with your entry, submit it and wait to see if yours is selected and put on display. Fame could be just around the corner for you. Web: Joke of the Day I am sorry to be strict about it, but every day you need to read a joke. There are two possibilities. You can arrange to have a joke emailed to you automatically, or you can check the Web and find something funny for yourself. The choice is yours. (After all, this is a free country.) Web:
Jokes These are the most important places on the entire Internet: the joke-telling Usenet groups. Anyone may post a joke about anything (although truly tasteless jokes are best sent to alt.tasteless.jokes). Beginner's note: The rec.humor.d discussion group is for the discussion of jokes or for requests (such as "Does anyone have the canonical list of Oprah and Beavis jokes?"). The rec.humor group is for jokes only. Usenet:
Jokes, Moderated This moderated group is to rec.humor what America Online is to the Internet: there is Someone in Charge. All jokes are submitted to a moderator who posts the ones he thinks are funny. What this means is that, unlike rec.humor, you don't have to wade through a whole lot of junk, silliness and bad jokes. It also means that you have to put up with irritating messages that are tacked on to the end of each joke, as well as regularly posted draconian ukases, setting out rules and regulations. Still, this discussion group is one of the most popular on the entire Usenet (in my estimation, coming between rec.arts.erotica and alt.sex.bondage). Web: Usenet:
Late-Night Monologue Jokes Every weeknight, millions of Americans turn on the TV to watch the late-night talk shows. Each of these shows begins with a monologue, in which the host makes jokes about topical events. Many people consider these jokes to be the best part of the show. ("When are you coming to bed Henry?" "Just let me watch Letterman's monologue and I'll be right up, dear.") However, suppose you don't want to stay up late every night, but you do want to know the jokes? The solution is to use the Net to sneak a peek at an archive of late-night monologue jokes. You never know when there's going to be something really funny that you can tell to everyone at work and pretend you thought of it yourself. Web:
Microsoft Bashing Microsoft is the computer company people love to hate, and Bill Gates is the computer executive people love to excoriate. Why is this? Well, I suppose we all have our own reasons, but it's not hard to have mixed feelings about a company that dominates the PC software marketplace while making us all use an operating system whose stability is a tad less reliable than a U.S. senator's promise to lower taxes. Still, why Microsoft is the Barney the Dinosaur of the computer industry is less important than the fact that anyone can take part in this wholesome, fulfilling activity. So don't wait. Whether you want to support a Microsoft boycott, read news that makes Microsoft look bad, or merely enjoy a few good-natured Bill Gates jokes, the tools you need to bash Microsoft and Mr. Bill are available 24 hours a day. Web:
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Onion The Onion is a satirical humor magazine that evolved from a college newspaper based in Madison, Wisconsin. The Onion is funny -- very funny. (And goodness knows, anyone living in Madison can use a good laugh.) The writing is first-rate, providing a wonderful parody of the ubiquitous self-conscious weakly written style championed by today's mainstream newspapers and magazines. If you have ever had occasion to read newspapers and magazines from earlier in the century (say, before television), you cannot help but notice the difference between what our grandparents used to read and what passes for writing today. In an age when watching an entire uninterrupted 60-second commercial is considered an extreme test of one's power of concentration, it's hard to believe that there used to be a time when daily newspapers published articles with paragraphs that routinely contained more than two sentences. The reason I mention this is because I find the Onion to be the perfect antidote to the banal and diluted output of our current print media. Now that "lowest common denominator" is considered to be a desirable goal by writers and publishers alike, reading the Onion is, in my opinion, the perfect way to pass the time until something better comes along. Also, it's funny. (And goodness knows, anyone living in Madison can use a good laugh.) Web: Oracle You send in any question you want to the Usenet Oracle. After a short wait, you receive your response. Great, you say, the wondrous powers of omnipotent wisdom are at my disposal whenever I want. Then you notice a catch: in return for answering your question, the Oracle sends you a question to answer. "Why not?" you say. "Maybe the Oracle is overworked this week, and it is really quite a compliment to be asked for my opinion." Then you notice that whenever you ask a question, you are sent one in return. Eventually you catch on, "Why, we are all just answering..." Well, I'm sure you don't need my help to figure it out (especially if you have ever sold Amway products). The Usenet Oracle is a time-honored tradition. Read the best of the Oracle's answers in the moderated group rec.humor.oracle. The .d is non-moderated and is for an open discussion of the Oracle's wisdom. Web:
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Parodies and Satire What keeps us from taking life too seriously? People who take the trouble to point out how ridiculous much of our culture really is. When life gets to be too much, a few moments perusing these parody and satire Web sites will put the spring back in your step and the gleam back in your eye. Web:
Relationship Humor There's more to relationships than doing the laundry and taking out the trash. Sometimes, you just have to laugh at each other. After all, what could be funnier than a relationship? Web:
Religious Satire The Surgeon General's priest warns that reading religious satire on the Net could be hazardous to your spiritual health. But it's so much fun that it doesn't really matter. Put off your eternal damnation tomorrow for hours of chuckles today. Web:
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Satirical News Stories In an age when watching an entire uninterrupted 60-second commercial is considered a test of one's power of concentration, it's hard to believe that there used to be a time when daily newspapers published articles with paragraphs that routinely contained more than two sentences. Have you ever gone to the library and looked at old newspapers from the first half of the twentieth century (before television)? Try it sometime when you get a chance, and you'll notice a big difference between what our grandparents used to read and what passes for newspaper writing today. The reason I mention this is because I think we can all use an antidote to the banal and diluted output of our current print media. Now that the "lowest common denominator" is considered to be a desirable goal by writers and publishers alike, reading satirical news stories is, in my opinion, the perfect way to pass the time until something better comes along. (Also, they're funny.) Web:
Science Jokes Here is one of the funniest jokes I know: "What's purple and commutes?" Answer: "An abelian grape". Now, this is a mathematical joke, so don't worry if you don't get it. However, if you are a scientist, there are whole oodles of jokes just for you. Not only math, but biology, chemistry, physics and more -- everything is funny if you make the right assumptions. Web:
Shakespearean Insults Each time you connect to these sites a different insult is thrown at you in perfect Shakespearean style. Examples: "Thou clouted knotty-pated maggot-pie," "Thou jarring plume-plucked measle," "Thou errant toad-spotted pignut," or "Thou dankish bat-fowling pumpion." Web:
Tasteless (and Dirty) Jokes Don't look at these resources unless you want sickening, tasteless, repulsive, humiliating, insulting jokes and stories (many of which are silly, but -- like Congressmen -- you get what you pay for). Don't you dare post anything that is not tasteless. And don't you dare complain that anything here offends you. You have been warned... now check it out. Web:
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