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Archie Andrews Since the 1940s, Archie Andrews and his friends have been part of our culture. When I was young, I loved reading Archie comics and, to tell you the truth, I still do. Archie, Betty, Veronica, Jughead, Reggie and Moose are perpetually young students at Riverdale High School. They live in a world in which activities change with the season, fashion changes with the years, but no one ever grows older, and nothing really terrible ever happens. I grew up with Archie, so I always think of him as being a bit like me. That is, I did, until one day I read something that allowed me to figure out the age of his parents, and I realized that I was now older than Archie's father. (Nevermind, I still like to read the stories.) Web:
Barbie and Ken You and I may wonder about the meaning of life, but Barbie knows -- without even the tiniest smidgen of doubt -- that she is part of this universe for only one reason: to wear clothes. Barbie is a teenage fashion model who has the highest quality, most diverse wardrobe in the history of mankind. Name an activity, a setting, or a special occasion -- Barbie has the clothes to match. Moreover, she has the body to wear her clothes as they deserve to be worn. She has beautiful long legs and arms, an arching neck, naturally blond hair, and a more-than-perfect figure. Her eyes are alluring, her makeup is perfect and, in her entire life, she has never had even a hint of a bad hair day. As the years pass, Barbie may change slightly, but she never ages, never retains water, her face never breaks out, and she never puts on even five extra pounds. Barbie's perfection also extends to her steady boyfriend Ken, a social accessory who shares her perpetual youth and devotion to tasteful, complacent well-being. When it is convenient, Barbie has four younger siblings: Skipper, Stacie and Todd (the twins) and Kelly. Barbie lives in the dream world of every pre-adolescent girl, with the perfect body, the perfect clothes, the perfect boyfriend, and no parents or homework to get in the way. She is the ultimate bimbo, an icon who revels in idiosyncrasy, but whose popularity derives from the sheer force of her predictability. Web:
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Fictional People Talk and General Discussion Who's to say what's real? If a character lives in our hearts and minds, and occupies enough of our collective popular cultural consciousness as to command his or her own Usenet group, that's real enough for me. Join the discussion and talk about Wednesday Addams (Addams Family), Dirk Pitt, Hello Kitty, James Bond, Nathan Brazil, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Winnie the Pooh, the Power Rangers, Q (Star Trek), Ren and Stimpy, Tank Girl, Tigger (Winnie the Pooh), Wedge (Star Wars), and Zathras (Babylon 5). Usenet:
Indiana Jones In a world in which many of our heroes are nothing but image, Henry (Indiana) Jones Jr. (1899-19??) is pure substance. He is handsome, brave, strong and lucky, a larger-than-life adventurer with a propensity to be in the right place at the right time, as well as the wrong place at the wrong time. Jones is an American, born in New Jersey on July 1, 1899, to parents Henry Sr. (a Scotsman) and Anna (from Virginia). In his youth, Jones traveled widely throughout Europe, Asia and Africa, often in the company of his parents and his tutor, Helen Seymour. In 1920, at the age of 20, Jones went to study history and archaeology at the University of Chicago, from which he graduated in 1922. He then moved to Paris, where he enrolled as a graduate student in linguistics at the Sorbonne. However, before long, he changed to archaeology, which soon became his lifelong pursuit. In 1925, he graduated from the Sorbonne and went to work as a professor at London University. Even as an adult, Jones was never one to stay in one place for very long, and he punctuated bouts of teaching at various schools (including Princeton and the University of Chicago) with a great many adventures around the world. Eventually, he settled into teaching history and archaeology at Marshall College (later known as Barnett College), a small school in Connecticut. Jones married twice. His first wife Deirdre (married in April 1926), died soon after the wedding in a plane crash. In the fullness of time, after Jones was widowed a second time, he retired to New York, where he lived with his daughter and her two children, Spike and Lucy. Web:
James Bond James Bond is a fictional spy created by Ian Fleming (1908-1964). Fleming wrote 14 books -- mostly novels, some short stories -- from Casino Royale (1953) to Octopussy (published in 1966). After Fleming's death, Bond books were written by other authors, in particular, John Gardner. The first James Bond film was Dr. No (1962) starring Sean Connery. Since then, many Bond movies have been made with a variety of actors. Fleming's original James Bond is a post-World War II agent of the British Secret Service and has the identification number 007. (The "00" prefix indicates that Bond is licensed to kill in the line of duty.) Through the years, the depiction of Bond (and the British Secret Service) has changed. What has not changed is Bond's basic character: a highly skilled, handsome, self-reliant man, with an affinity for danger, high-performance cars, gourmet food and wine, and beautiful women. (In other words, if James Bond were a real person, he would be an Internet author.) Web:
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Lara Croft Lara Croft is the perfect woman. She was born on February 14, 1967 in Wimbledon, England, into a British upper-class family. She's brave, talented, tough, skillful, and she travels the world having adventures and solving puzzles. Lara is also very attractive (5'9" tall, 115 pounds, 34D-24-35), extremely popular and single. (Lara travels alone!) In fact, I can think of only one drawback to Lara Croft: she's not real. Lara is the heroine of the Tomb Raider video games (produced by the Eidos company) and a movie (starring Angelina Jolie). Of course, whether or not Lara's non-existence is really a drawback depends on your point of view. As I once heard an Eidos spokesman explain, "She's a great person to have. She doesn't have an agent, and she always says yes. Web:
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Perry Mason Sometimes people ask me, do you have a hero? Is there someone you really admire? The answer is, yes, Perry Mason. Perry Mason is the main character of 86 books published by the prolific author Erle Stanley Gardner (1889-1970) between 1933 to 1973. Although Gardner's stories were dramatized for television (and the movies), the Perry Mason I love is not the one you see on TV. The real Perry Mason is the one in the books. He is strong, brave, knowledgeable and loyal to his principles. Mason practices law in Los Angeles, and does so in his own way, assisted by long-time secretary Della Street and private detective Paul Drake. Every story involves a murder and Mason defends the person charged with the crime. Eventually, Mason figures out who really did it and frees his client. What I like about Mason is his personal strength of character. He is never afraid to do what is right, even if it will make him unpopular. Web:
Santa Claus It's nice to know that as busy as Santa is, he always has time to stay up with the latest technology. Send your wish list to Santa by email or you can see what he, the elves and reindeer are doing on the Web. Maybe if you are especially good this year, Santa will bring you a high-speed Internet connection for the holidays. Web:
Sherlock Holmes Sherlock Holmes (1854-?), the world's first consulting detective, is the most famous detective in history. Holmes lives at 221B Baker Street in London, both alone and with his friend and biographer Dr. John Watson. Between 1878 and 1891, Holmes investigated hundreds of cases, sixty of which were documented by Watson. Holmes is not perfect, but he has great appeal, due to his intelligence, knowledge, persistence, precision, attention to detail, and an uncanny ability to solve problems that baffle everyone else, including the police. Is there any intelligent, logical person who does not identify with Holmes when he says (in "The Red Headed League"), "My life is spent in one long effort to escape from the commonplace of existence"? Web:
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Space Ghost In 1966, Space Ghost debuted as a cartoon superhero, part of the series "Space Ghost and Dino Boy". Space Ghost is tall and powerful, and wears a black hood and a yellow cape. In each of the original seven-minute cartoons, Space Ghost would use his powers to save the universe (or whatever needed saving that day). Flash forward to 1994. Space Ghost now has his own late-night talk show. He interviews real guests and is ably assisted by several former bad guys: Zorak, the band leader (and The Original Way Outs); and Moltar, the director. The show "Space Ghost Coast to Coast" has attracted a niche of people who like their talk shows to be tongue-in-cheek, superficial, unpredictable and very strange. Web:
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Spock Spock is a Star Trek character from the original series and from the Star Trek movies. Spock was born on the planet Vulcan, in 2230, in the city of Shi'Kahr. His mother, Amanda Grayson, was a human schoolteacher from Earth; his father, Sarek, was a diplomat from Vulcan. The natives of Vulcan are known for their logic and rationalism, but Spock's personality is tempered by his Earth genes. Between 2249 and 2253, Spock trained at the Starfleet Academy (service number S179-276 SP). He was the first Vulcan ever to enlist in the Federation Starfleet and, from 2265 to 2269, served as the science officer aboard the original U.S.S. Enterprise. Why is Spock so popular? Perhaps it is the dichotomy of logic versus emotion, which never really stops tormenting him. As Spock himself says (in "The Way to Eden"), "Many myths are based on truth." Web:
Superman Superman came to Earth as a baby in a rocket ship. The ship was sent by his father, Jor-el, from the planet Krypton. Superman was found and adopted by a kindly couple, Jonathan and Martha Kent. Superman grew up with super powers and learned to use them to fight evil. When he is not fighting evil, he takes on the persona of his secret identity, Clark Kent. This he has been doing continuously since 1934, first in comic books, then on radio, television and in the movies. Along the way, the Superman mythos has changed significantly several times. My favorite Superman stories are those of the Silver Age comics (1959-1970), in which Superman/Clark Kent lives in Metropolis and is a reporter for the Daily Planet. His (sort of) girlfriend is Lois Lane, his pal is Jimmy Olsen, and his boss is Perry White, and life is strange but predictable. Web:
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Zorro Zorro (1782-18??) is a masked adventurer, known for fighting the unjust Spanish rulers of the pueblo (town) of Riena de Los Angeles in the early 19th century. Zorro, whose real name was Don Diego de la Vega, was the son of Don Alejandro de la Vega, a wealthy landowner, and Chiquita de la Cruz, both of whom were Spanish. The de la Vegas traveled to California in 1781, where their son was born a year later. While Zorro was still a child, his mother died, and he was sent to Madrid to finish his education. Upon his return, he found that the residents of Los Angeles were oppressed by the cruel Spanish rulers. Zorro devoted himself to fighting the injustice, using his expertise with swords and whips, his considerable skills as a horseman, and his native cunning and bravery. In order to protect himself, he adopted a secret identity, "El Zorro" (the fox), and dressed in a black costume with a mask. Web:
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