Allen, Woody (Quotations)

You probably think your Uncle Fred has a good sense of humor but, actually, he's just memorized all of Woody Allen's famous quotes. No reason why you can't do the same.


Web:

http://www.cp-tel.net/miller/billee/quotes/woody.html
http://www.lyfe.freeserve.co.uk/quoteallen.htm
http://www.workinghumor.com/quotes/woody_allen.shtml


Daily Quotations

I bet a day doesn't pass when you don't encounter someone who would just love to hear an interesting quotation. So here are some places where you can find a new quote when you need one. Not only will you have something to read while you take your daily vitamin, you'll have the raw material with which to astonish and delight other people, every day of the year. Just you wait and see. Once you start sharing a quotation a day, it won't be long before you become the Mr. or Ms. Popularity of your entire social set.


Web:

http://www.qotd.org/
http://www.quotationspage.com/qotd.html
http://www.quotelady.com/


Famous Quotations

The next time you're looking for a wise and pithy saying, the Net will be glad to oblige. These Web sites have large collections of quotations from famous people. When you have a few extra moments, take some time and browse through the lists. Soon you yourself will be wise and pithy, fawned over by all your friends. As Winston Churchill once said, "It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations." (Uneducated women, I suppose, are on their own.)


Web:

http://www.cs.virginia.edu/~robins/quotes.html
http://www.csmngt.com/quote_me.htm
http://www.kornea.com/quotations.html
http://www.workinghumor.com/quotes/index.htm


Fields, W.C. (Quotations)

W. C. Fields (1879-1946) was an American movie actor whose wit is legendary even today. After all, anyone who hates kids, dogs and books for dummies can't be all bad.


Web:

http://www.louisville.edu/~kprayb01/WCQuote.html


Goldwyn, Samuel (Quotations)

Samuel Goldwyn (1882-1974) was a Polish-born American film producer who merged his own company with that of Louis B. Mayer to form Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. Goldwyn is best remembered for the original way in which he expressed his ideas. For example, he once said that "Pictures are for entertainment; messages should be delivered by Western Union." Are all the Samuel Goldwyn quotes real? I can tell you in two words: a pocryphal.


Web:

http://www.eng.wayne.edu/Carlo/Sam.html
http://www.virtualmuseumofhistory.com/hallofrhetoric/ep...


Hahn, Harley (Quotations)

The next time you are at a party with some Very Important People who you need to impress, feel free to quote me. (That's what I do, and I find it to be highly effective.) To help you, here are collections of quotations from some of my books. Note: If you are a Unix person who likes Gilbert and Sullivan, be sure to check out the "Unix Sysadmin Song".


Web:

http://www.harley.com/harley-quotes/


Marx, Groucho (Quotations)

Groucho Marx (1894-1977) -- a performer for more than seventy-five years -- was one of America's funniest funny men. During his many years as a performer (in plays, radio, movies and television) and as a writer, Groucho came up with numerous witty, timeless quotations. Check out these lists of Groucho quotes, and maybe you can pass them off as your own. ("When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.")


Web:

http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/ulrich_oswald/...
http://www.bmacleod.com/groucho.html
http://www.luquette.org/humor/quotes_from_groucho_marx....
http://www.ps.uci.edu/~lasio/Groucho.html


Mencken, H.L. (Quotations)

American author H.L. (Henry Louis) Mencken (1880-1956) was known for his many critical essays. He was especially fond of acerbic social commentary directed against what he felt were the complacent middle classes. "Say what you will about the Ten Commandments," observed Mencken, "you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them."


Web:

http://www.freedomsnest.com/qmencken.html
http://www.io.com/gibbonsb/mencken/megaquotes.html
http://www.phnet.fi/public/mamaa1/mencken.htm
http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/quotes/mencken.htm
http://www.watchfuleye.com/mencken.html


Monty Python

There is no surer way to impress your significant other or a prospective employer than being able to quote liberally from the Monty Python canon. So, before your next important social interaction, be sure to take the time to memorize at least a few quotations, song lyrics or sketches. My suggestion is to practice the "Argument Clinic" sketch until you can do all the parts, all by yourself, from memory.


Web:

ftp://ftp.std.com/obi/alt.quotations/Archive/fortune/ho...
http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/Scripts/Alphabetic.htm...
http://www.intriguing.com/mp/
http://www.quotegeek.com/Movies/Monty_Python_and_the_Ho...

Usenet:

Google Newsreader alt.fan.monty-python


Presidential Quotes

This archive has a collection of quotes from various American Presidents: Jefferson, Lincoln, Clinton, Reagan and others. This is the place to go when you need to remind yourself whether or not it was Ronald Reagan who said, "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country." In addition, you will also find quotes from other notables, such as Linus Torvalds, the creator of the original version of the Linux operating system. ("Linux does endless loops in six seconds.")


Web:

http://www.atozquotes.com/u.s.%20presidents.htm


Quotable Women

Since the beginning of creation, women have been talking. As a matter of fact, the first well-known quote is attributed to Eve ("Are you really going to wear that?"). The Quotable Women archive collects memorable quotes from women both modern and historical. Why settle for the last word when you can get all of them?


Web:

http://www.famouscreativewomen.com/
http://www.ffrf.org/wws/quotes.html
http://www.harley.com/womens-quotes/
http://www.womensmedia.com/quote-a.shtml


Quotation Resources

Truly, there's no need to ever have to be original in anything you say or write. Just check out these resources, and you'll find just about any type of quotations: advertising quotes, animal quotes, music quotes, political quotes, religious quotes, film quotes, and more. With so many sources of information, if you happen to say something original, don't blame me.


Web:

http://www.aphids.com/quotes/
http://www.imdb.com/Games/randomquote
http://www.quotegarden.com/
http://www.quoteland.com/
http://www.quotesheaven.com/
http://www.rockwisdom.com/
http://www.sbrowning.com/quotes/index.php3?authors=1
http://www.tqpage.com/


Quotation Talk and General Discussion

Here is the Usenet group devoted to a discussion of quotations. This is the place to ask if anyone knows who said, "It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy." Of course, questions like this only get answered if people participate, so if you like quotes, why don't you follow the discussion and see if you can help someone else. (The quotation, by the way, is from Groucho Marx.)


Usenet:

Google Newsreader alt.quotations


Quotes from Famous Authors

Many of our most memorable quotations come from writers. Here are some wonderful things said by some of the wisest, wittiest authors in history: Charles Dickens, Dorothy Parker, George Bernard Shaw, George Orwell, Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, Shakespeare, Stephen Leacock, and more.


Web:

http://www.creativequotations.com/special.shtml
http://www.cyber-nation.com/victory/quotations/authors/...
http://www.intelligentsianetwork.com/dorothyparker/doro...
http://www.intelligentsianetwork.com/wquotations/wquota...
http://www.nlc-bnc.ca/3/5/t5-258-e.html
http://www.phnet.fi/public/mamaa1/wilde.htm
http://www.quoteland.com/author.asp?author_id=119
http://www.therightside.demon.co.uk/quotes/shaw/
http://www.twainquotes.com/quotesatoz.html
http://www.workinghumor.com/quotes/charles_dickens.shtm...


Random Quotes

Need a quick burst of inspiration? Get yourself a quote chosen randomly from a large collection of interesting and pithy sayings. You can request another quote whenever you want, but be prudent. According to the U.S. Department of Redundancy Department, the recommended maximum allowance for an average adult is three quotes a day (two for Steve Wright quotes).


Web:

http://www.coolquotes.com/
http://www.ficara.net/quotes/
http://www.insanityideas.com/quotemachine/


Rogers, Will (Quotations)

The American humorist Will Rogers (1879-1935) was a beloved social commentator and entertainer, sometimes referred to as the "cowboy philosopher". Although he could be critical, Rogers had the knack of doing so with a wink and a smile. As a result, he became widely popular, through radio, newspaper columns, books and the movies. "I joked about every prominent man of my time," said Rogers, "but I never met a man I didn't like."


Web:

http://www.dailycelebrations.com/willrogers.htm
http://www.willrogers.org/willsays_quotes.html
http://www.willrogerstoday.com/will_rogers_quotes/


Sports Quotes

Sports are an important part of our culture, almost as important as talking, and when you combine the two of them, you're in business. Here are some memorable sports quotations from some memorable sports figures, including Yogi Berra (baseball manager), Knute Rockne (football coach), John Wooden (basketball coach), as well as a miscellany of other notables. "What's the difference between a 3-week-old puppy and a sportswriter?" asked football coach Mike Ditka. "In 6 weeks the puppy stops whining." There have been a lot of interesting things said about sports, but let's give Yogi the last word: "Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical."


Web:

http://home.no.net/birgerro/quotes.htm
http://www.cyber-nation.com/victory/quotations/authors/...
http://www.dfw.net/~patricia/nba-daily-humor
http://www.gifts4fishing.com/quotes.htm
http://www.sportscribe.com/qtes1.html
http://www.yogiberraclassic.org/quotes.htm


Star Trek Quotes

Dammit, Jim, I'm a writer, not a trivia buff. If you want quotes from the original Star Trek, the Next Generation, the Star Trek movies, Voyager or Deep Space Nine, you'll have to get them yourself.


Web:

http://www.bolt.icestorm.com/cube/st/kmq.html
http://www.sciflicks.com/star_trek_the_motion_picture/q...
http://www.sjtrek.com/trek/quotes/