Why can't I have my own phone?

"Please, please let me have my own phone. I promise I'll be good. I promise. I'll do all my homework every night, and I'll help around the house, and I'll listen to everything you tell me.

"I'm old enough. I am, I really am. Emily got her phone last year, and she's six months younger than me. It isn't fair, it just isn't fair. I'm the only girl in my whole school who doesn't already have her own phone. Don't you care about that? Please. Please. Please.

"Okay, fine. Don't get me a phone. I won't have any friends, and no one will ever talk to me, and I'll just grow up and never get married and never go to a prom or have children or anything. Is that what you want? I need a phone. I do, I really do. You don't care anything about me at all. All I want is one simple thing, just a phone. Is that too much to ask?

"You just don't understand. Why does no one ever understand me? I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. You're the worst parents in the whole wide world. Maybe I should just run away somewhere and find a family to live with that doesn't treat me like a child. I didn't ask to be born, you know.

"So what do you think? Can I have a phone? Pullleeeeeez."