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Quotes from: The Internet Complete Reference (1996)


Page i:
The Internet is, by far, the greatest and most significant achievement in the history of mankind. What? Am I saying that the Internet is more impressive than the pyramids? More beautiful than Michaelangelo's David? More important to mankind than the wondrous inventions of the industrial revolution? Yes, yes and yes.

Page i:
When we connect computers, we invariably create something that is well beyond the sum of its parts.

Page i:
There is a reason we built the Internet and, as human beings, we have an obligation to learn how to use it and to participate.

Page 4:
The Internet is living proof that human beings who are able to communicate freely and conveniently will choose to be socially cooperative and selfless.

Page 4:
The Internet has no laws, no police and no army. There are no real ways to hurt another person, but there are many ways to be kind.

Page 5:
The Internet is like Life, only more fun.

Page 26:
Reading Usenet articles-especially the jokes-is a good way to spend time that would otherwise be wasted on work.

Page 29:
If you feel lonely and ignored, subscribing to just a handful of mailing lists is guaranteed to keep your electronic mailbox filled to the Plimsoll line.

Page 31:
If you find yourself spending large amounts of time using IRC, remind yourself you are talking to the type of people who spend a large amount of time using IRC.

Page 31:
If you have ever played a role-playing game, such as Dungeons and Dragons-or ever spent time in a singles' bar-you will already be familiar with environments in which people adopt an imaginary identity.

Page 32:
Join a mud and hide from reality. Forget to graduate. Lose your job. Ignore your friends, family and loved ones. In other words, lots of good, clean fun.

Page 38:
No matter what a salesman may say or do, he is not on your side. He is there for one reason: to sell as many computers as possible. Approach a computer salesman as you would a car salesman. Know what you want in advance, and don't let him talk you into anything else. Avoid people who start a conversation by asking you what your budget is.

Page 40:
You might ask: The modem companies certainly know what is real and what is not real. Does this mean they are lying? The answer is, yes, of course they are lying. But they all lie in the same way, using the same numbers, so it is okay.

Page 73:
One of the things that make the Internet such a wonderful place to be is the large amount of wonderful new software continually being offered for free.

Page 79:
At the University of Wisconsin, many computers are named after types of cheese.

Page 113:
If you never lie, you will never have to remember what you said.

Page 116:
If you are ever tempted to be intimate within a mail message, just remember you are only one bounce away from sharing everything with the rest of the world.

Page 116:
If you are a major celebrity, never send a message to anyone who knows the electronic mail address of the National Enquirer.

Page 121:
When it comes to private matters, such as love letters, you will find that it is often more romantic-and much safer-to avoid the Internet and send messages by more traditional means (such as using your employer's Federal Express number).

Page 121:
Do not assume that a deleted message cannot be restored. ... Unix does not have a paper shredder.

Page 122:
Sarcasm and irony do not travel well across national boundaries.

Page 164:
Like parachute jumping, surfing in the ocean, or watching an autopsy, using the Web is something you just can't understand through reading, You have to do it yourself.

Page 167:
The most significant thing about the Net is it gives us the potential to connect any one person to any other person or group of people, as becomes necessary. ... The Web is nothing less than an effort to connect the human species in a significant and powerful way.

Page 180:
It is intriguing to imagine that, in the future, you might connect yourself to the Net in such a way that you actually feel as if you are in a different dimension. And, as you follow the links, you might actually feel as if you are traveling in a strange, alien world. In that sense, hyperspace may one day become a real place in which we may spend all our spare hours. In the meantime, don't forget to stay grounded on Planet Earth and pay your telephone bill.

Page 189:
If you become famous, a major university may want your bookmark list (along with your papers) after you die. An overgrown, disorganized list will reflect badly on you, serving only to creating an everlasting embarrassment for your family and friends.

Page 192:
Listening to sounds or watching a video on the Web is a lot like Life. People complain that it takes a long time to get what they want and that the quality is poor, and yet the whole thing is over much too soon.

Page 196:
As you learn how to use your browser, don't be afraid to experiment. What's the worst that could happen? If you really screw things up, you might need someone else to fix the settings for you, or perhaps even reinstall the software. So what? After all, if Humphrey Bogart had been afraid to experiment with his browser, where would he be today?

Page 255:
When there are no rules, most people choose to cooperate.

Page 255:
When everyone else is cooperating, acting like a jerk gets boring real fast.

Page 258:
If all the people who participate in Usenet were laid end to end, they would stretch from Newman's Grove, Nebraska, to Besalampy, Madagascar.

Page 262:
You can expect to find the strangest (and most controversial) newsgroups in the alt hierarchy. For example, this is where you will find alt.sex.bestiality and alt.fan.rush-limbaugh.

Page 267:
According to my research, the most popular newsgroup that could exist would be alt.sex.jobs.offered.newusers.

Page 295:
Just because someone criticizes you in front of hundreds of thousands of people is no reason to get excited. My advice is to ignore anyone who says something you don't like. In general, fighting is dumb. On Usenet, it's a waste of time.

Page 296:
I have summarized all of the rules for using Usenet into the following three guidelines: 1) Be considerate. 2) If you can't be considerate, at least don't be a jerk. 3) Don't let yourself be bothered by people who do not follow rules 1 and 2.

Page 456:
You can learn a lot about a culture by observing how it uses upper- and lowercase letters.

Page 478:
Personally, I like the telnet program, but then I am also a Unix person, and I would rather memorize twenty commands than use my mouse.

Page 480:
Many people never connect to Australian computers and still live full, rich lives.

Page 502:
Over the computer, we are unable to use subtle body language to indicate that what we just said was debonair and ironic, and not really as dumb and insensitive as it looks.

Page 504:
[In online talk] Nothing is worse than watching somebody laboriously backspacing and correcting every word. Just go ahead and type and don't worry. Almost evrWything is underftandabll with kust a few worng lettrs and no doubt,m the other pweosn will get the g9ist of thwta you are syaing.

Page 523:
If you feel like having a conversation, there is always someone to talk to on the Net.

Page 523:
The history of IRC is filled with agreements, disagreements, alliances, break-ups and intrigue (sort of like The Lord of the Rings on speed).

Page 550:
In many ways, muds are the epitome of what you can do with a large, worldwide computer network ... a degree of sophistication, creativity and imagination that exists nowhere else on the Net.

Page 550:
Using IRC is like jolting yourself regularly with caffeine. Participating in a mud is like cultivating a long-term appreciation of fine art or classical music.

Page 552:
Muds do have rules and customs that you are expected to follow, but on a well-run mud, there are no insecure authority figures who will tell you what to do whenever they feel like it, as you might find at school, on the job, in your family or on America Online.

Page 559:
If you like a lot of action, choose an adventure mud, so you can talk and kill things at the same time.

Page 562:
Playing on an adventure mud is like going to a costume party where the costume evolves over time.

Page 571:
If you are a guy, and you go up to a female character on a mud and say, "Hi, wanna have sex?" and she says yes right away, chances are she is another guy playing a female role.